quotes to live by

May 24

“why did the turkey cross the road?

to prove he wasn’t chicken” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“A man walks into a bar with a head under his arm, he sits down at the bar and places the head on the table.
“Can I have a beer for me and my son please?” The barman looks a bit puzzled but gives them both a drink.
The man tilts the boy’s head back and pours the drink down his throat. Suddenly like magic the boy grows a torso.
“Wow, I am amazed I have never seen that before”, said the barman. “I’ll give him a drink on the house.” he added.
The man again pours the drink down his throat and bam, the boy grows an arm. The people at the bar are so amazed by this they keep on buying the boy a drink until finally he has a full body.
“Right dad, I’ve had enough, meet you back home.” At this the boy opened the door, stepped outside and got run over by a bus.
The barman is distraught, “I am so sorry, if I knew that was going to happen I would have never bought him that drink. “Don’t worry,” the man said “he should of quit while he was ahead.” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“What is a dentist’s office? A filling station.” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“Where do pigs park their cars? In porking lots.” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“Where does a zookeeper hang his laundry? On a clothes lion.” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “How do you drive this thing?” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“What kind of television do horses like? Saddle-lite TV” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“How manyh grad students does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but it takes 7 years.” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“Why did the invisible man look in the mirror? To make sure he still wasn’t there.” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!

“What do you call a clock on the moon? A lunartick.” CLICK HERE For Cute Quotes!